I can have it "all"

Yesterday was one of my first "full days" off of work. I wanted to make the most of it. There is plenty to clean in my house, but I recognize that summer is nearing the end, and I have two children who would like to enjoy it. So, we planned a trip to the beach. We had planned a trip to the beach a week ago, but the weather planned differently. So, last week, we cleaned out our son's room. Then yesterday, the weather said, "No, you really don't want to go to the beach." Turns out, it was right.
I've started a new phase in my life. It consists mostly of trying to be obedient to GOD. Often times, I sin, thinking only of how it will affect me in the short. But, obeying GOD isn't always easy as some of us perceive it. We might be embarrassed because of what we have to admit right away, but you don't know what the ripple effect of obedience might produce. People are watching us all the time. What we do speaks to them. What we say, not so much.
I decided when it comes time to make a decision, I'll let God do it for me. No beach, but then what. The kids voted Chuck E. Cheeses, but how homogeneous. So I prayed. And we decided to go to Frederick Meijer Gardens. What a blessing. It was beautiful. We were surrounded by flowers. There were many species we would never get to see if it wasn't for the Garden's beautiful conservatory. And art. We got to see three Rodin yesterday including one copy of "The Thinker". We took time to read the art labels so that we had a back history on the pieces. Our kids were exposed to things they might not fully understand right now, but will in the future. Pieces of their life puzzle. We enjoyed it so much that we are going to buy a membership soon. I can't wait. And, being obedient to God's plan was a blessing to us all.

Moments of breathlessness

It was dark. The noises surrounding me were familiar, mostly because of the frequency which I have been going to the theater. Everything seemed normal. And then I couldn't breathe. It wasn't an allergy attack. It wasn't a panic attack. It was longing. As the rat and the man picked up the shiny copper pot and proceeded to create art in culinary form, I couldn't breathe. I don't have these moments in my life much. It's not because I don't experience great longing anymore, but because I'm surrounded by those things for which I have longed in the past. But this, this copper pot, and the sight of the dancing blue flames of the stove reflected in it's gleaming surface stirred up a longing so strong it still takes my breath away. I want to cook, go to culinary arts school, I want to be a chef in a lively, active kitchen. It's the one longing in my life that is in direct conflict with every other longing I have. It's the one longing in my life that shall go unfulfilled. For, if I chased after this dream, everything else important would have to be pushed to the wayside, left for a time when I could pay more attention to them. Yes, my longing still leaves me breathless, but if I traded everything I have for it, it would leave me broken.

This is why

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world" -C.S. Lewis



I wish I could think like this man. I wish it was that easy to be a great thinker.